Home > Uncategorized > When caught off guard

When caught off guard

I was having a pleasant conversation today with my newest friend until one word that he uttered shook me to my core. Before hearing this very jarring word we had discussed the passing of my father and sister and our similar lives on different planes. This one word, just five short letters combined to ruin my time. This word brought back pain and devastation that I had been through with the first guy, rebound guy, that I was with during my separation. The conversation evolved into somewhat of a nightmare sending me into panic mode. Images of the past started to surround me and at times I felt as if I could hardly breath. All this began from a word.

He began to “read” me, this made the situation much worse. I have been read by the other, it was fun at that time but not now. I was not okay with the terms, but how could I express this without having to go into detail about the past that haunts me? I brushed most of this off and tried to smile, I did a horrible job at it. Like the feeling that you get when you can feel that your smile is failing. I was eventually saved by the bell, he had to pick his sister up from the salon and I claimed grocery shopping.

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