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Beef stew

July, 29 2012

Dear Diary

Sitting here stewing in not a good feeling, I have a feeling that I may just have overreacted to the situation because I was scared. Scared of getting my heart broken, scared of getting my feelings hurt. I could get a pencil and erase all the entries in this diary, but that would not be real. I really had those feelings in that moment and I can’t take that back. I can’t change it either, it’s not I can erase words and insert others in place of them, making my words less painful. I look at this as a lesson, a lesson for me and a lesson for you. For me the lesson was a one that contained a mirror. Why am I this way? Why do I just jump straight to “they don’t care” and how can I fix it.

The lesson for you is a bit more complex. This lesson will be a life changing one. This will have you deciding whether or not I am in fact the one for you. Can you deal with all of my insecurities that continue to bubble over the surface? Can you see yourself with me knowing that there are times, sometimes often, that I will feel like everything is falling apart and therefore crew it all? I don’t know if you can or not and I’m not to sure I’m ready to find out. Whether or not you can handle the complexity that is this girl in front of you, only time will tell. I do need one thing from you though, one thing only; This is that you remain safe, whole and sane.

I will always love you, there will never be another

Miranda

 

Miranda’s first diary entry,  I think this may be in the book.

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